Tuesday 2 August 2011

No sense of direction

I must be getting old, or I used up all my direction powers on Saturday heading to Dorset.

282 miles covered on Sunday on the old Monster. Not bad for the old girl, over 600 miles covered in 2 weekends! Sunday started at the secret workshop. The usual checks completed on the old M900 before setting off to Stockbridge for some breakfast. It wasn't an interesting ride as I just headed the direct route thanks to Mr Google and his maps. Well, the only thing that did make it interesting was the sight of a Lamborghini poking it's nose out of a hedge near Stockbridge, and stupid here didn't stop to take a picture!! Oh well, I think hunger was getting to me. A quick breakfast of three cups of coffee, scrambled egg on toast and then a cappuccino was had in two cafes. Stockbridge is a rather nice place and actually gets a few bikers stopping off.

I think I confused a cyclist as well. I was looking over a bridge looking at the fish in the river and the woman asked;

"Are you out on a long ride today?"
Yes, I'm off to Groombridge near Tunbridge Wells for a Ferrari and Ducati meeting
"Oh, nice, where have you started from?"
Heathrow
"Erm........"
She gave me a strange look, the look to say, well Heathrow is east of here, Tunbridge Wells is east of here, why are you in Stockbridge??? Some people just don't understand the curse of sunshine, open roads and a motorcycle!

Just as I was leaving Stokes of Stockbridge, some familiar faces appeared on some familiar bikes. Some of the UKMOC members arrived, so a quick chat and then I was off on my travels. The other reason for heading to Stockbridge, well it is the starting point of the A272. So, that was where I was heading, east along the A272. Well, I got as far as Petersfield and then decided, well, not decided, just went for it. A3, new tunnel opened, Ducati, I just have to go through the Hindhead Tunnel! So, I did. Heading north, back into Surrey, until I get to the tunnel and all the traffic stops! I'm filtering through and the matrix signs are flashing "INCIDENT" one lane is closed in the tunnel! Nice!! I'm expecting to see a broken down car but no, someone was moving a traffic cone the other side of the tunnel! Great!! Well, only one thing to do, head through the tunnel south bound! So I did! Stupid, childish, mad, daft, but I enjoyed it! I'm sure the car drivers and bikers didn't enjoy the fact I was enjoying the blast through the tunnel in 2nd gear whilst traveling at 60mph. Well, they may have heard it!

Another classic moment on my days adventure happened in Liphook Services. I stopped off for a smoke and a drink. I'm dancing around the car park listening to Bad Manners and this woman is leaning out of her car talking to me. I switch off my iPod and the woman asks;

"where are we?"
Liphook Services
"I know that, where are we though?"
Liphook Services, you are in a BMW
"You're getting annoying, do you know where we are?"
Yes, Liphook Services on the northbound carriageway of the A3, about 10 minutes away from Hindhead.
"oh, ok"

Some people are just MAD!!!

Back onto the A272 after my small detour, and then I thought I should be on the A264 and now I'm going the opposite way from Guildford. Ok, I'll head towards Horsham! This is where everything goes wrong. My compass had gone. Probably due to tunnel-esia. Somehow I ended up in Godalming to then head down to Horsham then finally getting out of Horsham, appearing back on the A272 heading for Ukfield. Right, everything is a mess. It's now 2pm, I'm heading towards Lewes, which is the wrong way to Tunbridge Wells, but I seem to have picked up a fellow Monster owner and he wants to play. So off we go, playing on the twisty bits of the road then suddenly, ah a sign to East Grinstead, that's on the A264!!! Sorted!

Finally, I arrive in East Grinstead, and after two circuits around the town (don't ask!), I finally get onto the correct road! After a brief pit stop and fuel stop, I was off again, heading to Groombridge Place. Ducatis going past me, heading away from Groombridge as I pull off the road into the car park. Strange..

I parked the bike next to a rather stunning 998, and off I wandered. I get questioned by, well I think I'll describe him as the bridge keeper from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. After answering lots of questions and not being cast into the moat of eternal peril (it had three swans on it!!), I was in. A few bikes were left and a large handful of cars. A chat to the bikers who lasted out all day then I was off on the final leg of my interesting journey back to the secret workshop.

A21, fine. Ok, so part of the A21 is the M25 now, but the Esso garage after the M25 junction is just shocking!! I'd filled the bike up twice already today with no issues, well apart from my finger nail nearly popping out twice (long story involving a case, the side pillar of a trailer and a numpty driver!). I park up, glove off, fuel cap opened, pump put in hole and wait, wait...... still waiting, then a voice from above; "Pump 2", I look up, ooo that's me, have I won the lottery? "Will you remove your crash helmet!" Woman who was filling her car up next to me just looks at me, I have my Roof lid on which has spent most of the day being an open faced lid as I'm covered in dead bugs! So, only one thing for it. pump out of hole, cap closed, glove on, start bike, and as I go to put the pump back, I miss the holder and the pump falls to the floor. Oh well, Mr Tw*t can come out of his little box and hang it back up whilst I'll head off to the next petrol station for fuel and refreshments!

Now, after my day of riding through some of the finest countryside and views the south east of England can offer a road user, I get greeted with South London! God, that just drains the soul out of you. It is so depressing! Brixton, Crystal Palace, Dulwich (the name says it all), Lewisham, Bromley (ok Bromley wasn't too bad). I was just glad to get westside!!!

Finally, after another 10 hours with the bike, another adventure had finished. My route on Google was plotted and I wondered where the fudge did I go??

http://bit.ly/q1Hm0o

It's just madness!!