MINI Adventures, they are fun!!!

It's coming up to nearly three months since I collected the MINI from Cooper Tadworth. On the 11th September I said good bye to the Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaag and hello to Dinky. Before you wonder why are you calling the MINI Dinky? Well, to go from a Jag to a MINI is a bit of a downsize (as mentioned earlier in a blog), so Dinky fitted quite well. Anyway, back to the present....

I had a trawl through the interweb, and thanks to Mr Google and lots of well placed words from those interweb geeks, I managed to find millions of Mini clubs and forums across the world. The only problem being, they were Mini clubs and not MINI clubs. Some are very anti BMW MINI, lots of them seem happy that you are in a MINI or Mini of some description, and some, after a bit more searching, just cater for MINIs.

As with the Alfa, MX5 and Jag before, the forums were joined and off I looked for inspiration and maybe more inspiration and possibly a few runs out to MINI or Mini or both meets around the UK. This is when I found SnM. After going through the TotalMINI site and wondering what was happening, I found the Surrey New MINI forum, and since then it has gone downhill since.

Two pub meetings, Nelsons Diner meet, Goodwood Meet, Winter Brighton Run and lots planned for 2012! My first real run in with them was at Brooklands Museum last year at the Mini day. I still like the classic Mini, and I would get one, if I had the time, money and space to rebuild one. But when I decent second hand classic Mini costs nearly the same as a 10 year old MINI, I think I'll go with the one that has air con, ABS and a CD player built in, rather than a possible rust bucket, that would eat my wallet contents like a... erm.... Ducati Monster!

Anyway, the MINI Adventures have been fun. Driving in convoys from Goodwood to Shoreham Airport for lunch with 35+ MINIs. Driving from Box Hill to Brighton in the wet conditions last weekend, was good fun, even with the strange folk of Brighton wondering why 15 MINIs were all heading towards Maderia Drive, well we want fish and chips of course!!

But alas, my 2011 MINI Adventures have come to an end. Nothing else to do but clean the car, buy more Union Jacks and clean the car some more. I'm looking forward to next year. Lots of meetings to go to. The Brooklands Mini day, London 2 Brighton, Mini Action Day at Castle Combe, maybe also some MINI racing and plenty of other stuff inbetween, a service and MOT being two things!

Right lets upload some snaps!

Dinky at Goodwood

SnM MINIs lined up at Goodwood Motor Racing Circuit

The Winter Brighton Run

Now with added Union Jacks

A lot happens in 20 years.

1991, my last year at Rydens School. GCSEs done, and looking forward to not going back to school forever! (Well ok I did do some sixth form and college). School as I knew it was over any way, and after spending 11 years in education, I was glad to see the back of it! As the years passed by, I found out life is very interesting. I discovered motorcycles, overtime, weekends off, four jobs, alcohol, cigarettes, naughty cigarettes, paintballing, more overtime, even more unpaid overtime and cars.

So, 20 years on, and yes the class of '91 had their reunion in Walton on Saturday 20th November. The Nobel Vine was the venue and yes I was scared shitless about going. Scarily, I was the quiet geeky one at the back of the class, staying out of trouble (most of the time), doing my homework / course work, and just trying to blend in with the greyness of my school shirt. How things have changed in 20 years. From the quiet, shy kid at the back of the class, to walking into the pub on reunion night to be greeted with... "It's the legend Danny Morl". To then be told by my postman that I have become the Rydens version of Jeremy Clarkson was a bit of a shock. One, I'm short, two I'm not that annoying and three, I'm better looking and speak more sense (sometimes, without the added ingredient of alcohol).

 Ok, I have no idea what I did at school to make me a legend. Apart from a brief spell in the school football team, we did win a trophy as well! I think the rest of the school football matches I spent sent off with my mate Nik as we just used to hack everyone to the ground (even our own team mates!). I didn't set fire to any class rooms, I didn't graffiti the common room, I never smoked behind the bike sheds, I can only remember ever getting one detention for Tipexing Andrew Thomas' work out in Home Economics. Then to be told by some of my (ex) school mates I haven't changed much in 20 years worries me! Did I have grey hair and was fat in the fifth year at Rydens?

Then it dawned on me, no one at the reunion had changed much in 20 years! The girls from the Class of '91 had got married and were in the process of have had kids, married, divorced, more kids and jobs, the blokes, well they are just as bad now as they were at school! So, after a alcohol fueled night of memories, conga, beer and more conga, the reunion came to a close. Twenty years to turn myself into a legend (not that I know how I became one), to catch up with some of my old class mates, to be in awe of one of my best mates at school now owns, and uses it daily as his daily transport, a 1977 mark 2 Escort, getting bored of tales about Lexus IS400 and IS200, and to not remember how I got home. Still, the reunion was a good laugh, and yes I would go to another one. They best arrange one sooner than the 40th anniversary of the class of '91 as I don't think I will make it that far!!

Then again, The Loon is a legend, my alter ego, the part of me that never came out when I was a spotty yoof. 20 years to discover the Loon inside me and release him into the general population. Maybe I have become a legend, just in my own head!

Which brings me nicely to....

The MINI One.

Test drive day, yes it did rain a lot!

I'm now two weeks in to ownership. I have a silly grin on my face. Only once in the last two weeks have I not driven the MINI, as I decided to bring the work van home instead, and that night I had the van, I missed the MINI!!!

A little bit about the car I didn't want to buy, but I bought it, and I am enjoying it!

It's a lightning blue, 2007 1.4 MINI One. It has most of the options you can throw at a MINI fitted, still with a full years TLC pack to go and has only done 26k miles! Cloth interior, panoramic sunroof, air con, multifunction steering wheel, alloy wheels, bluetooth and usb connectivity, heated screen, heated mirrors, heated washer jets, cruise control and a six speed gearbox (which is a novelty for me in a car!). There is a few more things, but I can't remember them!

Union Jack scuttles installed, and for a change when the instructions say two minute job, they were correct!

Union Jack interior mirror cover fitted, just a one minute job for that!

And finally Dangermouse on the boot. That should help me find the car more easily!

Apart from the car is very nippy for the little box it is, and handles well, even as well or not better than my old MX5. Ok, the drive is wrong (FWD instead of RWD), but the little blue car is fun!! MPG running at the moment around the mid 40s, which is slightly better than the best MPG I could get from the Jag!

One thing I have noticed, the original Mini has a whine, just a certain engine or gearbox noise that tells you it's a Mini! You know the noise, you've heard it as a Mini goes past you whilst you are walking somewhere, you know, that little whirring, whining noise, well I've noticed a little whirring, whining noise in the new MINI, it is there, I can hear it and yes it just makes me think of the smaller one. Maybe the BMW MINI has eaten a BMC Mini!

Apart from the addition of Dangermouse on the boot, a Union Jack initerior mirror cover and just some new chrome surrounds for the keys, I'm not going to change anything else on the car (at the moment!). I looked at a fully Union Jack clad red MINI One tonight at Berrys of Heathrow, and yes it does look a bit too OTT and tacky. I don't think I will go with the Union Jack vinyl sunroof decals! Well, not yet!

Other than the little whine and whir, the car is fun! The ICE system is ok, not ground breaking, but it's fine. My iPod works ok through the AUX cable and next week I will found out if it works better with the official BMW Y cable (which I didn't pay the BMW Dealer price for!). I've done nearly 500 miles in the car in just over two weeks and they've been fun! I have no idea where I have been, well apart from the long way to work, the long way home from work and Bluewater, and at just over £40 to fill up and do 300 miles plus from a tank of fuel, it's quite economical.

So, for another three and a bit years I am stuck with Dinky. Long may Dinky continue to give me stupid grins and fun twisty roads to play on!

Down sizing is all in the mind....

The old Jaaaaaaaaaaaaag. Well, not so old, a 2004 X Type diesel. A Transit engined beasty. The Ark Royal of all the cars I've owned in the past 14 years. The biggy, posh and comfy bus! I like this car, I did when I bought and still do now, but it was just BIG. The purpose of the car was full filled, to transport my mum around in comfort, backwards and forwards to the hospital whilst awaiting for her hip operation. The operation was done a few months ago, the car was still comfy, but seemed to be getting bigger. Less walking sticks to carry around, less clutter (not that I have much in my cars), just less.

I wasn't even planning on doing what I did. This is all the fault of my mother! I was thinking about changing the car, but next year. The Jag was due it's yearly medical, and after spending over £300 on tyres and another £70 on an intercooler hose in nine months, I thought that car would easily sail through, which it did!

Anyway, before the MOT date, I was window shopping on the Autotrader website. Alfa 147s, 156s, 159s, Mazda RX8s, MX5s, BMW Z3s, I liked them all and was toying with a swap. Nothing to decided, no harm in looking, just window shopping. The Jag done everything I needed it too, it was cheap on the road tax (£130 a year for a Jaaaaag!, petrol V6 one is nearly twice that amount!), insurance was ok (well I thought, but later about that!), the car run smoothly and did need a service soon. Then whilst flicking through pages of BMWs, I came across the MINI. Well, ok, small car, cheap tax, cheap insurance, could be ok. I knew my brother had one and he said no. Unreliable car that spends more time in BMW garages than on the road. Oh well, back to planning trailers and doing the day job.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I was still flicking through Autotrader and eBay and decided I need a trip to a dealership and have a look at some cars. I will not make up my mind, but just size the cars up. Try out the boot, driving position ect. Well, first of all the Mazda RX8 disappeared off of the radar. The top band for road tax every year (£460 or something like that), and no I'm not going to pay that! Even though I do like the little 1.3 RX8, and if I did buy one I could say Wankel lots! The MX5 also got knocked off the list as I had already owned one, and the boot is small. It's a fun car to drive though and no roof is good in the summer. Just a shame that in the UK we seem to lack summer! BMWs got knocked off for the same reason, then it was just the Alfas, but who knows what you would get with an Alfa. Yes, I love the Alfa, it's a great looking car, but they do need a lot of looking after and if you do get the wrong car, you are f**ked! Expensive and they do not hold their value due to being Alfas!

In the end, a shopping trip to Epsom was planned with a visit to Cooper Tadworth. Well, everything did not go to plan. I drove my mum over to Tadworth and the plan was, I'll look round the forecourt and see what cars they have, get the attention of the sales person and ask if I can check out the size of the boot (with the seats folded flat) to see if my mums shopping trolley will fit in. Well, parts 1 and 2 went fine, I walked around, found two cars, a Cooper in black and a One in blue. The sales girl came out and I asked if the cars were unlocked, she disappeared and came back with the key to the MINI One and as she popped the locks, my mum decided to get in the passenger side and sit down. That was the end of my careful planning.... "oooo I like this, it's comfy!" said my mum. Well, that was it! I had a look at the boot size, which is too bad with the seats flat, not quite as big as the Jaaaag but enough space for shopping and trolley. Anyway, the sales girl explained that the car was off out on a test drive in five minutes with the possible new owner. My heart sank a bit, but oh well, I only wanted to be nosey. The only thing was, two hours later whilst walking round Epsom, I get a phone call from the salesman at Coopers telling me that the couple who test drove the car had decided to buy a Mini convertible. So, test drives were booked for Sunday!

After test driving two Minis, the little 1.4 One felt as good as the Coooper. Cheaper tax and cheaper insurance as well. Still, I didn't fancy a change of car yet, well for at least 5 minutes. So, after filling in a couple of forms, being told my Jaaaag was a CAT B write off (which it wasn't, due to sales man not being able to read his own writing!), I had managed to nearly buy a new car!

On the Tuesday morning, I get the phone call. All the finance stuff had gone through, the car will be ready to collect on Sunday! And that was it! The Jaaaag was going! I had only had the Jaaaaaaaaaag for nine months, but she was off to be part exd for a MINI. Downsizing in a big way!

Sunday arrived and off I went to Tadworth. The Jaaaaaag had passed it's MOT with flying colours, everything cleared out of the car except the bits that should be in there. Sorted! I got to the dealership, spent forever signing sheets of paper! Finally, the keys were handed over. A little blue dinky toy was now mine. I had a few bits to get out of the Jaaaaaag, which didn't disappoint, it's parting shot was to not open the boot on the boot release button. Nice car!! Everything finally cleared out and put into the new car.

I was out of the car park like a stupid Cheshire cat. Grinning insanely! Farewell comfy leather clad, walnut dashed Jaaaaag, hello mad driving, go kart handling Mini! Now, after two weeks of driving the MINI, do I regret the swap... NO!!!!

Land's End and generally being silly!

The title of this blog sums up the last month! The silliness side has returned with a vengeance! I had to be reminded of my little quote; "life's too short to be sensible!" and yes it is too short, go out, have fun and that's about it really!

So here we are, the first days of autumn. The trees are losing there leaves and branches, as I nearly drove into a branch today, and not one of a bank variety! The evenings are colder and there seems to be a bit more wet weather on the horizon, well a bit more than the summer anyway. Snow has been forecasted, so that is it! The end of riding the Monster for another year! What does a sensible, normal person do, well apart from not owning an Italian bike, they hide in their thermals and just go about their normal work.

As for short, stupid people like me, we go out and have more fun! Bank Holiday weekend, the final one of the year before Christmas (yes, Christmas, the chocolates and wrapping paper is in the shops now, well has been since August!), I decided to say bollocks to the normal hum drum going shopping and looking around the shops stuff and head off on my once every seven year adventure to Land's End. The sign post was calling, and needed my bike to fill the gap between the lens of the camera and the sign post to Walton on Thames. After looking at the Premier Inn and Travelodge websites for a room for the night, and nearly laughing at the top price of £103 for one room, no food in Hayle, I decided to try the Land's End Hotel website and scare myself silly with their price.... £40 for a room and breakfast over Bank Holiday weekend! Result! Room booked on the interweb, which now meant I had to pack my bag, make sure I had oil, petrol and air in the bike parts that mattered and head south west!

The old girl made it to Land's End in just over seven hours! No aches and stiffness from the rider, only one forced stop to change to waterproof gloves and jacket due to the typical Bank Holiday weather outside Sherborne! What the hell, it's an adventure!

Bank Holiday Monday comes with a bang! Well, three false alarms on the fire alarm through the night. I managed to ignore them, which was nice! After a wander around Land's End at 8am, which to be fair, apart from the tourist attraction that does spoil it a bit, at 8am the place is great! No tourists, just the odd person wandering about, loads of rabbits, and just the sea breeze, a few ships and a couple of birds to keep you company! After my morning exploration, I headed back to the hotel for breakfast, and then headed outside to check the oil and tyre pressures on the Monster. A couple of bikers who had stayed the night in the hotel were just leaving for the other end of the country, John O'Groats! Mad fools, and they were doing it for fun! And they had sensible bikes, a Triumph touring bike thing (I think it was the ST) and a Honda Blackbird. Amazingly they wouldn't swap their bikes for a 1993 Ducati Monster. No adventure then! After wishing them good luck, I packed my bags, checked out, got a refund of my money due to the fire alarm problem (dodgy smoke detector in the kitchen), and wheeled the bike round to the patio of the hotel to take the above shot.

Land's End or Bust 2011 completed!

Then it was time to get my picture taking at the sign post. Two tips, if it is sunny and early, remember your sunglasses! Second tip, there isn't a second tip yet. My picture was taken and off I went, sort of south east ish. Down to The Lizard Point and another marker knocked off the list, Ness Point (eastern most point on mainland the UK), The Lizard Point (southern most point on mainland UK) and Land's End (western most point in mainland England). Not bad for an 18 year old Monster! All in all, with stops for food, drink and general sight seeing, it took me 10 hours to get home. No traffic hold ups, well I lie, one traffic hold up, there was a red light in Bodmin and about 10 cars infront of me! I headed home via the A30 and A303, and both roads were quiet! Excellent! To start at the end of the A30 (Land's End) and finish at the start of the A30 (Henleys Corner) in the same day just made me smile (I'm very sad about things like that!).

Down at The Lizard

And the weekend ends near Henleys Corner.....

A good weekend, even better getting the refund for the hotel! That paid for the petrol and food on the way down!! So, here is to seven years time. Maybe I'll have a hover bike by then......

That is where it all started with the Monster, five years ago at Liskeard station! Slightly warmer on the day this picture was taken though!

Back with a vengeance!!!

Mange tout, mange tout, bonmarche.....

Bonjour!

Guten tag!

Hola!

Que?

No sense of direction

I must be getting old, or I used up all my direction powers on Saturday heading to Dorset.

282 miles covered on Sunday on the old Monster. Not bad for the old girl, over 600 miles covered in 2 weekends! Sunday started at the secret workshop. The usual checks completed on the old M900 before setting off to Stockbridge for some breakfast. It wasn't an interesting ride as I just headed the direct route thanks to Mr Google and his maps. Well, the only thing that did make it interesting was the sight of a Lamborghini poking it's nose out of a hedge near Stockbridge, and stupid here didn't stop to take a picture!! Oh well, I think hunger was getting to me. A quick breakfast of three cups of coffee, scrambled egg on toast and then a cappuccino was had in two cafes. Stockbridge is a rather nice place and actually gets a few bikers stopping off.

I think I confused a cyclist as well. I was looking over a bridge looking at the fish in the river and the woman asked;

"Are you out on a long ride today?"
Yes, I'm off to Groombridge near Tunbridge Wells for a Ferrari and Ducati meeting
"Oh, nice, where have you started from?"
Heathrow
"Erm........"
She gave me a strange look, the look to say, well Heathrow is east of here, Tunbridge Wells is east of here, why are you in Stockbridge??? Some people just don't understand the curse of sunshine, open roads and a motorcycle!

Just as I was leaving Stokes of Stockbridge, some familiar faces appeared on some familiar bikes. Some of the UKMOC members arrived, so a quick chat and then I was off on my travels. The other reason for heading to Stockbridge, well it is the starting point of the A272. So, that was where I was heading, east along the A272. Well, I got as far as Petersfield and then decided, well, not decided, just went for it. A3, new tunnel opened, Ducati, I just have to go through the Hindhead Tunnel! So, I did. Heading north, back into Surrey, until I get to the tunnel and all the traffic stops! I'm filtering through and the matrix signs are flashing "INCIDENT" one lane is closed in the tunnel! Nice!! I'm expecting to see a broken down car but no, someone was moving a traffic cone the other side of the tunnel! Great!! Well, only one thing to do, head through the tunnel south bound! So I did! Stupid, childish, mad, daft, but I enjoyed it! I'm sure the car drivers and bikers didn't enjoy the fact I was enjoying the blast through the tunnel in 2nd gear whilst traveling at 60mph. Well, they may have heard it!

Another classic moment on my days adventure happened in Liphook Services. I stopped off for a smoke and a drink. I'm dancing around the car park listening to Bad Manners and this woman is leaning out of her car talking to me. I switch off my iPod and the woman asks;

"where are we?"
Liphook Services
"I know that, where are we though?"
Liphook Services, you are in a BMW
"You're getting annoying, do you know where we are?"
Yes, Liphook Services on the northbound carriageway of the A3, about 10 minutes away from Hindhead.
"oh, ok"

Some people are just MAD!!!

Back onto the A272 after my small detour, and then I thought I should be on the A264 and now I'm going the opposite way from Guildford. Ok, I'll head towards Horsham! This is where everything goes wrong. My compass had gone. Probably due to tunnel-esia. Somehow I ended up in Godalming to then head down to Horsham then finally getting out of Horsham, appearing back on the A272 heading for Ukfield. Right, everything is a mess. It's now 2pm, I'm heading towards Lewes, which is the wrong way to Tunbridge Wells, but I seem to have picked up a fellow Monster owner and he wants to play. So off we go, playing on the twisty bits of the road then suddenly, ah a sign to East Grinstead, that's on the A264!!! Sorted!

Finally, I arrive in East Grinstead, and after two circuits around the town (don't ask!), I finally get onto the correct road! After a brief pit stop and fuel stop, I was off again, heading to Groombridge Place. Ducatis going past me, heading away from Groombridge as I pull off the road into the car park. Strange..

I parked the bike next to a rather stunning 998, and off I wandered. I get questioned by, well I think I'll describe him as the bridge keeper from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. After answering lots of questions and not being cast into the moat of eternal peril (it had three swans on it!!), I was in. A few bikes were left and a large handful of cars. A chat to the bikers who lasted out all day then I was off on the final leg of my interesting journey back to the secret workshop.

A21, fine. Ok, so part of the A21 is the M25 now, but the Esso garage after the M25 junction is just shocking!! I'd filled the bike up twice already today with no issues, well apart from my finger nail nearly popping out twice (long story involving a case, the side pillar of a trailer and a numpty driver!). I park up, glove off, fuel cap opened, pump put in hole and wait, wait...... still waiting, then a voice from above; "Pump 2", I look up, ooo that's me, have I won the lottery? "Will you remove your crash helmet!" Woman who was filling her car up next to me just looks at me, I have my Roof lid on which has spent most of the day being an open faced lid as I'm covered in dead bugs! So, only one thing for it. pump out of hole, cap closed, glove on, start bike, and as I go to put the pump back, I miss the holder and the pump falls to the floor. Oh well, Mr Tw*t can come out of his little box and hang it back up whilst I'll head off to the next petrol station for fuel and refreshments!

Now, after my day of riding through some of the finest countryside and views the south east of England can offer a road user, I get greeted with South London! God, that just drains the soul out of you. It is so depressing! Brixton, Crystal Palace, Dulwich (the name says it all), Lewisham, Bromley (ok Bromley wasn't too bad). I was just glad to get westside!!!

Finally, after another 10 hours with the bike, another adventure had finished. My route on Google was plotted and I wondered where the fudge did I go??

http://bit.ly/q1Hm0o

It's just madness!!

337 miles and painful legs!!

There are days when I wish I didn't have stupid ideas. One of those days was today! Monday morning, I wake up, well nearly wake up, squinting through the blood shot eyes into the mirror, aching all over. "God, who's stupid idea was yesterdays madness??" was my first thought of the morning. My thighs aching from gripping a tank for 337 miles. I've never done that much mileage in less than a day on the Monster. The most I had managed before yesterday was about 220 miles when I bought the Monster back in 2006! I was five years younger! I was probably 2 stone lighter! I was in better shape rather than just a shape... I'm getting old! Bollocks!

Back to yesterdays adventures! This all started after watching an old episode of Coast on the Yesterday freeview channel. The coast team were wandering around East Angular! As with my plan of getting down to Lydd and seeing the big "listening ears" on the island in the gravel pit, the old Orford Ness pagodas were another one of those old war time places I wanted to see. Well, plan sorted, sunshine predicted by the BBC fortune teller and bike was ready to roll.

Finally rolling out of the secret workshop at 9am, I was on my way east, the far east to be exact, well you can't get any further east in this country than Lowestoft! The madness started with a blast along the rather non exciting M4 in to London. Those nasty people have now stolen my "bus" lane and it's rather boring. I have to ride along with those commoners in their motor cars now! Still, at least the road was taking the bike and myself eastwards, well the sun was in my face so that was east, ish!

First stop of the morning was along Roman Road. Cash was required. Then after 20 seconds of thinking "why am I stopping along Roman Road?", it dawned on me that I was nearly back home! Maybe I should head for Chelmsford Road. Maybe I shouldn't as the locals would not be impressed with 180kgs (and at times a 180db) of Ducati thundering quietly along the road. I diverted round Victoria Park, through Homerton, I'm sure there used to a Matchbox model car factory here, not a bloody Olympic stadium! and I was back heading through Leyton towards the A12.

After a non eventful ride round Romford and then finally past the M25, I was free and out in the Essex countryside. Great, I love Essex. After finally getting bored of the A12, I decided it was time for a break and annoyed my sister and her neighbours for a coffee break. Chelmsford was finally left behind and now it was onwards, deciding wether to head to Orford first or just go to Southwold and get fish and chips. Well, I headed for Southwold. After the dual carriageway of the A12 was replaced by single lane, I was happier, the bike happier and the world seemed happy. Then I realised I was in Suffolk, so I was even more happier than being in Essex or London.

Nothing much had changed, the roads were winding there way through the countryside, broken up by a few villages and petrol stations, the old Monster still clacking along with not too much trouble. Ok, the only trouble was the fact she kept drinking all the petrol! My first proper stop was looming, I had decided on Southwold. I pulled up in the pay and display car park, looking for the motorcycle bay, and low and behold, no f-ing motorcycle bay. Did I have to pay to park? Do I park in a car space? Do I just dump it on the pavement? Shall I give up... yes! I parked on a residential road in the end, not far from the pier so I was happy. The sea was wild, the sky blue and the fish and chips looked tasty, but for some reason I wasn't hungry. As I wandered back to the bike, I heard the familiar rumble of dry clutches. Yes, here comes the UKMOC.... As someone had not been on the Monster Owners Club site for a while and didn't read that they were having a ride out to Southwold from London, I was a bit suprised to see a collection of Monsters appear in a quiet sea side town in Suffolk, so I left!

In my little brain, I had decided "I've been to the Lizard Point and Land's End, lets get the third one out of the way!" Ness Point, Lowestoft, the most easterly point of mainland Great Britain. Now, the Lizard and Land's End are quite easy to find and I will try to explain about Ness Point. I'm thinking "ok, it could be like Land's End, a small sign post thing, maybe a little cafe or something, few seats, the old mileage plaque to different places in the world". How wrong was I??? At the 'arse' end of an industrial estate, just down from the fish market, next to a half finished concrete staircase (well that is what it looked like) in the shadow of a wind turbine is Ness Point, down Gasworks Road (says it all really), near a bus depot! I only managed to find it as none of the road signs actually stated Ness Point and I decided to follow the blue cycling / footpath signs. Still, I've now got three of the extremities of the UK covered, I just need to get my arse in gear and get to John O'Groats.

As with all new places I go to, I have to leave my mark. This was done in usual fashion. There was a dog contest going on near the beach in Lowestoft, next to a pay & display car park. I'm parked in the p&d car park looking at my map. I actually didn't realise I was next to a dog judging crufts type competition. Still, I started the V-twin in usual fashion and sent most of the dogs running across the judging area! Top job! I was going to look for lunch, but decided to exit stage door west, back to Southwold as the fish looked nice!

And it was! A nice bit of cod and chips enjoyed on the pier. Even with the view of the beach huts one side and Sizewell the other... After working out timings and the fact I had the wrong lid and visor with me, I decided at 4pm it might be a good idea to start heading homewards otherwise I'll be trying out my biker 'Force' moves after sunset! Back to the A12 I go!

Finally, after a petrol stop I get to Orford Quay. How quiet that place is, is unbelievable! As usually, I attracted the local nutter! A blokie had just come back from fishing out along the quay somewhere and his old battered Fiesta had a puncture. Queue talking to the nutter in the leathers routine! Oh well, at least I could just hide in the crowd of bikers! All three of them, with their Goldwings! Why Goldwings?? They are the size of a Fiesta, without the comforts like windows, roof, seatbelts, a stereo that you can hear (sometimes) and heating!! Oh well, they were all old bikers and have probably ridden every bike under the sun to get to the Goldwing! The Goldwing clan left, with a few local kids chasing after them. The local kids liked the Goldwings! Now, the big (which looked rather small) red Ducati they did not like. Maybe that was down to the little red button with "Loud" written on it. One press of that button and the kids run off and so did the aliens from Rendlesham Forest as I rode through there on the way back to the A12. Nothing to see there, move along!!

And finally, I appeared back on the A12, like the morning ride up the A12, going home was greeted with the sun on my face but a new feeling had appeared, tiredness! 240 miles riding a bike with as much aerodynamics as a brick, with a brick sitting in the middle of it, running at mainly national speed limit speeds had taken its toll. My thighs were aching, my right arm aching, my back starting to not really enjoy the potholes, every little move was just annoying and getting boring, so I had a bright idea, "instead of the M25 back to Heathrow, I'll take the North Circular!" Twat!!! Bloody road works, potholes, kamakazi scooter and Gixxer riders! I was so glad to see the Park Royal sign appear! I think it took longer to get passed Henleys Corner than getting from Colchester to the North Circular!

Finally, a brief stop over at the Ace Cafe for a fizzy pop and a ponder. The mileage on the bike now read 14420, I left the workshop with 14110 on the clock! 310 miles done!! Two full tanks of petrol used, just the A40 left to go.

Finally, twelve hours after leaving, I rolled the old Monster back to the secret workshop. The final reading 14447! I'd been through Surrey, Middlesex, London, Essex and Suffolk. I'd only gone out for fish and chips and it ended up in a big adventure! I don't care! This is what the bike is for! Getting away from it all for a day / week / month, not following a Satnav, exploring places I just like the look of on the TV or just seeing a road sign that makes me think "sod it, lets see what that is!".

The only downside is the aching this morning!! At least I can recover for my next adventure! Land's End must be visited soon!

After too much time of having my old Monster in varying states of repair or just plain broken, I finally managed a decent ride out on the old girl.

It's slowly approaching, I've owned the old '93 Monnie nearly five years, well on December 23rd it will be five years. Do I regret buying her back in the heady days of 2006, no. Do I regret spending nearly the price of a brand new 1100 Evo on her, no. I always wanted a 900 Monster since they came out, and now I've got one, I am not about to let her go. No matter how many cars decide to try and kill her (and the rider as well!).

Back to the quality time, well after failing her MOT twice and then passing third time (it's always the lucky time third time!) with the aid of a near rear wheel, the weather gods were being kind, my other commitments were scrapped. They can wait until Monday! Sunday is bike day!

A drive over to the secret workshop (in Hayes, it's the noisy one), to be greeted with the lovely sight of a fully functioning, oiled up, half a tank of petrol Monster, sitting on her carpet just waiting to go out and annoy, sorry, enjoy and embrace the locals of the south east of England. Car parked up, bike wheeled out, leathers on, lid cleaned, alarm set and shutter door closed. It was time to head off in no particular direction, just point the front end, watch out for the numpty car drivers and have fun.

I managed to wheel the bike across the industrial estate yard before noticing something was not quite right. The bike felt heavy! On closer inspection the rear tyre was flat! Now, I will only push the bike across the yard due to broken pallets leaving nice pointy shiny nails strewn across the yard and I was not looking forward to paying out another £140 for a Diablo two weeks after buying the one on the wheel! Shutter reopened, alarm unset and air compressor grabbed. Tyre pumping up, no hissing, no nails or other objects in the tyre, strange phenomenon (I know a song about that)!

Finally, off out on the bike. Well, I haven't used her in anger for a long time. It must be nearly 3 years since I gave the old girl a spirited blast along the country roads. The first 20 or so miles I still was worrying about the rear tyre. In the end I just decided to head for P&H and if it goes flat, well I'll just get it back to the workshop in some daring and cunning fashion! The ride to P&H wasn't really inspiring, just a boring point and go ride around the traffic hotspots of Surrey. After a quick browse at the bikes (I do like the new ZX6R, but I still can't see the point of a sports bikes in a country where the speed limit is 70mph if you're lucky and have a clear run on the M25!).

Leaving some learners and P&H in my noise laden wake, the learners were not impressed as they couldn't hear their instructor barking out instructions! I headed for the A272, via Findon. Now I was feeling more comfortable on the bike, relaxing more, chucking it around but not quite in a Casey Stoner fashion. Not on the stupid resurfaced roads of Surrey and Sussex, "lets chuck a pile of stones down on some wet tarmac and see how many bikes we can get off the road" resurfacing.

After a brief stop in The Village Shop in Findon for a quick and quiet sarnie, the A283 from Shoreham was calling me to come and play, only because it's nicer than heading back up the A24 to the A272. Now the silly grin was coming on. The temperamental teenager was beginning to strut her stuff, shouting down any opposition, not putting a foot wrong and actually running smoothly. Did I manage to fix something properly? Without the aid of gaffa tape and cable ties! No surely, the bike is going to do something daft and break down! Nope, everything was fine, better than fine. She was in a fine mood!

Riding some of the nicest roads sarf side of London, enjoying the scenery of West Sussex and Hampshire. Even heading through the walled market town of Petworth still makes me smile. Houses one side, big tall wall the other side of the road, Monster with Termis in the middle. I hope the residents have decent windows!

Finally, we got to Loomies for last orders, just in time for a quick refuel of black sugary fizzy pop and some petrol (I think I put the right liquids in the right holes), and it was time to head back to the secret workshop. Well, the long way of course! From Loomies, snaking across to Henley on Thames just intime to see the posh knobs packing up from a day at the Regatta, then out of Henley back towards the safety of Heathrow and Hayes. Day done, silly grin still on face mission completed.

After 8 hours of bike riding, over 200 glorious miles of grinning madness, a bug covered headlight and visor, life with the 18 year old Nessie is good again! She isn't the prettiest Monster in the neighbourhood, she certainly has her moments in not being the most reliable, she throws tantrums when she wants to but these are becoming rarer, and she wants to prove to my mate that the original, classic M900 is a far better bike than his new shiny 1100S ABS.

As for the flat rear tyre situation at the beginning of the day, I have checked the CCTV at the workshop and caught one of the sub contractor drivers we use to take freight down to Gibraltar letting my tyre down. All because I woke him up at 845am on Friday. Oh well, someone has just lost a haulage contract now!

Five years in the making

I see in nearly five years the sign has changed as well!

And a few headaches along the way!

2006, it was cold, I was wet, 200 miles covered on a bike that I later found out shouldn't have made it out of Devon, let alone get back to Surrey, and then to East London for a service! Those good old days! When I was daft, slightly slimmer, slightly more in control of my sanity and just about had some hair! The Monster was bought with one aim in mind; "get me to the Isle of Wight for a holiday and last the two weeks I'm there for!" It was a strange idea, one born out of madness probably! I owned a 1997 Alfa Romeo GTV at the time and working out the cost of getting the car over to the island nearly scared me, so I decided to buy a bike! Save on the ferry crossing, and try to have some fun!

Looking back at that idea now... God what was I thinking! To save about £100 on a ferry crossing, I spent out (in the first few months) £1300 for the bike, then another £2000 on getting it repaired!! I must have been working for a bank at this time!! Would I go back in time and change that idea? No!

As the magazines are having an Il Mostro revival (The Monster for those not knowing Italian speak), and especially when you think the Ducati Monster has now been around for 18 years! Nearly as long as the Fireblade! Nowhere near as long as the Gixer, but the Monster invented a whole new style of motorcycle.

A parts bin special, the Monster was bit from bits of Supersports, Superlights and any other bits and pieces in boxes at Borgo Panigale. 18 years on, it is still Ducatis best selling bike! Back to my old, and not forgetting original Monster.

I've now owned her for nearly five years. Yes five years of riding, abusing, blowing it up, rebuilding, and more abusing! In the five years, I've done about 20,000 miles on her, and apart from breaking two of the four rear cylinder studs, and a few other temperamental Ducati problems, she has been fun! A bike that in five years, still is a pleasure to ride. Still feels like part of me, still puts a big grin on my face and not forgetting, sounds like the Apocalypse is arriving into a town near you, just on tickover!

Now I've spent over £7500 on her, and she is slowly becoming the Monster I want. There are some more jobs on the horizon, getting a full respray for the tank and seat hump, wheels to be finished off, a bit of tidying up on the wiring, new seat cover and then she'll be close to completion!

Would I sell her? No! She is part of me, she is too precious to sell now! A 1993 904cc Monster, a classic, the best of the Monsters as she is the original that sparked the rest of the "Il Mostro" clan!

Don't forget, they also saved Ducati!

What ever happened to this bike?

Well, she changed a bit in five years!

Taken December 2006

Taken July 2011

Just a small amount of changes in five years!

Daftness and gadgets

After the Bank Holiday weekends fun I decided to go shopping.



The 'Tunnel Monsters' in London

A few fellow Ducati owners decided on a Tunnel Run, and apart from a bit of bad timing for the run, it was a good crack to get out, ride through some tunnels with 20 plus other Ducatis! It all finished up with (soft) drinks at a café in Soho.

So, back to my spending spree. As I used to dabble in a bit of photography, I decided, well, I decided years ago to buy one but just never got round to finally taking the plunge! I bought myself a Dogcam Bullet HD camera.



It's a teeny weeny thing, and fits nicely onto the Monsters trellis frame.







Armed on a mission this evening to catch up with a trailer at South Mimms truck stop, I decided tonight was a good night to try out the camera. Well, after a f**k up on my part as I couldn't remember if I turned it on so I ended up with 20 minutes of footage from a petrol station, whilst I was filling up the bike, 10 minutes of sitting at a roundabout whilst I was on the phone to a customer and 5 minutes of sitting in the truck stop.

Finally I worked out what I was doing and got 20 minutes of my ride back to the secret West London workshop!



Apart from a few problems, myself being the main one! The camera is good. Easy to use, quality is good, sound is ok as well bearing in mind my bike is a quiet thing! Now, as summer has near disappeared, the camera will no doubt not pop out much. Once I get the hang of the editing lark, all will be fine!!

Surviving the Royal Wedding and then some..

It's been a busy weekend, and it's only Saturday!

Yesterday was spent trying to hide from the Royal Wedding. I did managed to hide from most of it. An extra day off is good, but there is always too much hype with these things!! I didn't service the bike in the end, all I did in the end was ride it back home from the secret workshop and cover it up until the next days fun.

Saturday morning started with one of my neighbours being threatened with a hammer. Oh what joy this place is. 1am and the nutters are out! I finally managed to get back to sleep and then woke up late for Auto Italia.

I fell out of bed at 810am and was at Brooklands Museum at 840am! The first bike of the day as well, even with a pit stop to change a blown fuse (must fix this problem next week!). A quick wander around and a few more Ducatis appeared, and a nice day of wandering around looking at cars and bikes and just chilling in the sunshine!







I left Brooklands to head up to London. The UKMOC had arranged a meeting for this afternoon and I was not about to miss this one. A gentle ride through London was the order. A top afternoon was had! 20+ Ducati Monsters heading through the city. Fine the traffic was a bit rubbish, but the sound was just mad!









After a leisurely pit stop at a cafe in Soho, I headed back out of London and after another blown fuse (I really must fix this next week!) induced pitstop at the Fox and Duck at the bottom of Richmond Hill, it was back home to try and get rid of the smell of London and upload the pictures from todays fun!

The Royal Wedding and what to do instead....

I've just been sitting here at my desk pondering the question. Tomorrow will be bad, not a lot happening apart from some bloke marrying some woman in a big church somewhere. No doubt lots of other people will be getting married tomorrow, and I haven't been invited to any of them.

So, Mr Grumpy here is deciding what to do to try and avoid this over hyped event.

Back on the 5th September 1997, at about 10pm I decided to get out on the old Ninja. 8 hours later, a fair few miles done, mostly riding round the M25, I was tired and had a big grin on my face before disappearing off to sleep for the day.

Now, do I decide to be daft and watch the thing on TV? No, can't be bothered. William has not invited the Ducatisti to do a ride past so I'm not going to watch it on the TV.

Go out on the bike. Suppose I could, but the weather is not looking 100% for tomorrow.

Service the bike. Good plan, and I can get some tinkering in before Auto Italia Day at Brooklands.

Do some paperwork. Nah.... That can wait!

So, tomorrow looks like a day of servicing the Monster. Oil, plugs and cleaning stuff has been purchased. I've bought a carbon fibre tea tray off of fleabay, but I'm sure the post office will not be running a delivery service tomorrow.

Bikes, bikes and some ice cream

Last weekend was the open day at On Yer Bike just outside Aylesbury.

It was a good little run to try out the Monster after her little clean up. A nice blat from the secret workshop up the back roads to Aylesbury. Only a couple of small issues. The exhausts were still burning off some polish which was an interesting smell and one of the 7.5amp fuses keep blowing. This has been traced to the number plate light bulb. A little bit of jiggery pokery and the fuse was fixed.

Typical Ducati bike meeting then. Heading to a bike shop and having to buy pieces for the bike!

Still, a good day out was had. Ice cream, some Lemoncello cake and some new bikes looked at. The only problem now is, I have found a new bike I want. A ZX6R. Time to get my saving hat on.











The Horsham Italia Piazza meet on Friday and looking at the weather this is going to be a good one.

Pondering time

It's late in the evening and time for a ponder before I watch another couple of The Professionals episodes.

Today would have been the old mans 77th birthday. He died one day after his birthday, so all in all, it will be the one year anniversary tomorrow since he died. Yes I miss the silly old bugger. I miss his daft money making ideas, the next idea that will cost me some money, the silly chats on whilst we were out in the car / van somewhere, the cleaner from work, the moans about me spending too much time out on the bike / car / work / pub.

If he was still about today, he would be getting me to drive him down to the local Superfish to have his usual rock and chips, or he would just ask for the keys to the Jag (more than likely he would want me to drive him somewhere), just to get out and show off for a bit.

Finally, a virtual toast to the old man, happy birthday and what ever you are doing somewhere, don't come up with some hair brained idea, unless it is a good one and I can't think of any problems to ruin it!